Sefton and Liverpool Women in Business

Putting The Abusers Lies Straight – Social Services Complaint

Dear Sir/Madam
Re: Your Report xxxxxxxx

I am making a formal complaint against your employee xxx and the department of Children’s Services and the consequences of the wholly inacurrate report as detailed above completed by xxx which my family and I are still suffering. I want this complaint dealt with with the utmost importance.

I spoke to your colleague xxx around this time last year following a visit from xxx (court appointed visit due to the content of the report above!). I told both of them that I had been completely unaware that such a report existed until we were in court a month or so earlier. A report that had apparently been in my ex husbands hands for months, and that it has recently come to my attention was shown to the world and his wife. I relayed some of what I will now relay in this letter and they both agreed the content of the report was way off track and apologised, and told me I could make a formal complaint.

I took some time to consider my position, and decided that after all my family and I had had to endure and all that I was still facing in court with divorce and child matters, I did not have the energy to fight the injustice any further, nor did I want to waste valuable resources of social services.

However the impact that this report has had on our lives and will now doubt continue to have, can be ignored no longer. The facts must be established, your errors have to be acknowledged, and the truth of the situation needs to be found and circulated to relevant parties.

I will list in bullet point some of the areas for concern, but I have a full and comprehensive list which you can have when you are ready:

• Why was this report hidden from me and only my sons father received a copy?
• The report pertains to my son only. If he was at risk, so was his elder sister. Where is her report?
• My address is wrong, the dates are wrong. This woman came to my mother’s address where we were living.
• The report states that his father says I was violent. Police logs, which xxx was obliged to check tell a different story, showing his cautions and conviction. She spoke to my children at length in front of my parents, who all reported the violence I was subjected to. My mother has actually been physically attacked by him herself in the past! There is and has never been any report of me being violent towards him. Where is the evidence?
• Unless work counts as disappearing for short periods of time, that is utter rubbish. Where is the evidence?
• I told her under no circumstances was I considering Alcohol Support as it was not necessary and my mother never agreed to oversee me as she and I both knew it wasn’t necessary. Your staff member is simply lying here!
• Why is my daughter sporadically mentioned in what appears to be random sections?
• Why was my daughter father not contacted? His details were given several times, and if this report is to be taken at face value, he damn well should have been made aware of the danger this xxx decided my son was in!
• Had your staff member done her job and listened to my daughter who spoke to her for nearly an hour, she would have realised that the claims that I broke my sons fathers ankle and disappeared at times where lies told by my abuser in an attempt to blacken my name.
• Where is the evidence I have a drink problem? I was pregnant, went on to have a healthy baby girl and then passed alcohol tests well below average consumption 6 months later. I offered to take tests immediately when I saw your staff member but she conveniently declined, allowing her to throw accusations at me which I couldn’t prove where malicious lies. My son’s father failed his alcohol tests by the way, for chronic excessive consumption.
• My relationship with my son’s father was acrimonious, because he repeatedly beat me up. Look at the police logs. The children where never left with him due to his alcohol dependency and volatile temper. Anyone who says different is a liar.
• Any comments my son is alleged to have made are disputed vehmenently by my parents who were present while he was interviewed. My son was in with your staff member for a short while and his comments are noted, none of the items my daughter raised during the 50+ minutes she was in the room have been documented. Why?
• I was unaware my son was seeing SWACA. Another of his father’s tricks to paint me as the one in the wrong. And because your staff member was so easily hoodwinked or persuaded for other motives, no one offered my children and I any form of help, including a referral to SWACA, so it was months and months before my daughter and I were in touch with them and received some much needed support.
• Where is this history of alcohol abuse? This is purely ficticious.
• The icing on the cake is the sentence that says the father is subject to domestic violence from the mother! How could you? How could anyone with an ounce of compassion, a shred of sense and the ability to check basic facts readily available to you, write such a horrific lie that is still like a knife to the heart, about someone who was still so utterly vulnerable? It beggars belief. Could you justify this comment to a refuge organisation and provide evidence?
• The reference to father’s career and then mother is unemployed, is that why he was listened to and myself, my children, my parents and the evidence available to you was ignored?
• No agreement was signed – your staff member is a liar. Where is your evidence?
• What is a CAF? When did it happen and why do I not know about it? Should I have known about this?

In my opinion, this report is a complete joke, only it is far from amusing. There is not a shred of professionalism employed in the creation of this report. It is simply a full length version of my ex husband’s version of events.

I would like to tell you one of the reasons I stayed as long as I did was the constant threat that if I tried to leave he would have my children taken from me, tell everyone I was mentally unstable, and alcoholic and drug addict and a liar, that he would make sure my family and friends (the ones he hadn’t succeeded in alienating) would never speak to me again, oh and I would have no money. SWACA told me during my support work that this is very common. And every time the police were called they would beg me to leave, telling me they only had to look at him to see what kind of man he was. They said your department would try and help me if I wanted and offer me advice as leaving him would likely mean we lost our house and plenty of our belongings. They said you could point us in the direction of financial and housing help.

We got none of that. Instead we got the least compassionate human being on the planet, who had formed an opinion of me long before she met me, who proceeded to ignore everything and anything she was told by my children and I, the actual victims here. This report appeared when I was at my first court attendance over my son’s residency. Do you have any idea how scary it I to have to face the person who abused you for nearly a decade, who you finally got the courage to leave? Then at the last minute when things weren’t going his way this report gets thrown into the arena! Too convenient in my opinion.

And this report is still causing me damage and heartache. We recently had an incident at my son’s school xxxxxx xxxxxx after his headteacher decided to completely ignore a plan put in place after my son had reported further aggressive behaviour on his father’s behalf. To cut a long story short, at the appeal, her excuse for her behaviour was that basically despite what I had told her about our lives, he had shown her this report and it said otherwise, In a nutshell, she doesn’t believe me. And I am constantly paying the price for it. Yesterday at parents evening it came to light that despite several requests including one written over the last year, my personal contact details had been handed to my sons father. Something I have protected fiercely as I don’t have any direct contact with him, I am scared of him and I don’t wish to be threatened or harassed by him. Essentially I am treated like something that you would scrape from your shoe, because people have been shown this report and think I am an animal. And it is not fair, it is not true and it is no longer acceptable.
So I want this rectifying. There has been all sorts of additional information and evidence subsequent to this report which I am more than happy to share with you. My parents will speak to you happily as will my children. I want this sorting out and fast, and I want the likes of my son’s school being informed that I am not in fact a liar, and they can actually start treating my family with the respect we deserve.
I went through the horror and indignity of domestic violence, it took great courage to finally get out and we lost a lot of material things. The behaviour, and the attitude of that hideous woman, who told me I would be lucky to keep my baby, left me a nervous wreck, and made a time when I should have been blissfully happy having got my life back, taken my children to safety and discovered I was pregnant one of the most miserable and frightening times in my life. I became afraid to talk to anyone and afraid to ask for help with anything in case it was seen as weakness or inability to cope. I had to figure out a whole new way of life, benefits, housing etc, entirely on my own with no support until months later when SWACA helped me.

When I saw that report in court I was devastated. One of the biggest fears a woman in my situation has is not being believed, and that the abusers lies will be. That is exactly what your report did to me. Not only did my children and I have to adjust, to try and recoup all that we had lost, and fight through countless legal issues, I was branded a liar by the very people whose job it was to help my children and I.
I would also like to know what if any “status” my children and I have with yourselves. If there is any such status I want full justification.

I am working with several national womens aid charities to make my story one that they feature to give other women an idea of how things will be. My current advice to women in Sefton would be stay where you are. I am luckily a very strong person, but this report of yours would have pushed some women to suicide or back into the arms of their abuser. Many men alienate women from friends and family, so if they do manage to leave, they need the full support of departments like yourselves to get through, not to be treated as we were. For that, your whole department needs to hang their heads in shame.

There is evidence in abundance to support what I am saying. There always has been.
I would also like to raise the point that I have never had any written report since xxxxxxxxx visit. I would like to receive that this year please, if possible.
Once you have read this, get in touch with me and I will provide you with all the documentation you need. Please remember that this will be used by various other people as an example of what can happen.

Regards

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